I Think I’m Coming Out of this Fog

I haven’t blogged in weeks. Months, I think. I have been sort of drowning in emotional spaghetti, not knowing how to sort what I feel from what is real and good and right. Not that my life has been awful. Not at all. I enjoy so many good things, I consider myself fortunate! But there are times life is harder than others, as far as emotions go. For me, transitioning from raising kids to empty nesting has been particularly taxing. I have found myself having existential crises, bouts of tears, fabulous pity parties, and a marked inability to sort out and understand myself.

But the last few days have been helpful. I took my dear Gabriel on a short trip to Miami to visit friends and family. Now that I’m back, my non-working hours have been filled with news from France, discussions of Syrian refugees, and passionate exchanges of ideas (freedom of speech rocks). Work is always a safe haven, and lately, I have been studying and preparing for my upcoming show. So I found myself thinking outside of myself today. Yay!! I can sit and write with semi-intelligent verbiage, I am not crying nor am I feeling sorry for myself, and I finally realized that Thanksgiving is coming up in one week!

God is kind to me, always. Today I thank him for the many good gifts he has lavished on me: My incredible family, amazing friends, a fantastic job, His sustaining Word, and the joys of rest, fun, and travel.

I have no idea how I will be ready for Thanksgiving, but I am deciding not to stress about it. I have so many things to be thankful for, and by golly, I will celebrate next Thursday with my loved ones, whether I get to cook or not, and whether my house is impeccably clean or barely tolerable.

My job rocks!

Just a quick note to express my gratitude for the happiness I feel in doing my job.

I’ve been teaching for 23 years. The first class I ever taught was a mommy-and-me music class, in my living room. Since then, I have never seen a time when I wasn’t teaching. The subjects have been varied (homeschooling co-op academics, speech and debate teams, 4-H marine ecology, among others). But mostly, I’ve taught music, from tiny kids to adults, and everything in between. Choirs, ensembles, theory, guitar, singing, composing, worship, musical theatre…

And I can honestly say, I have always loved my job.

My life has been enriched by the students I’ve had and the families I’ve met. I have felt the fulfillment that comes from helping others find their voice or their calling, or even an enjoyable hobby that will last through a life-time.

Not many people can say they love what they do for a living, I’m fully aware of that. So with that in mind, I want to shout a big, heart-felt thank-you to God almighty! You have blessed me!

My first mommy-and-me class. My daughter, Lizette is the second kid from the right (his name is Andrew). My baby, Gabriel is sitting, watching, all the way on the left :)

My first mommy-and-me class. My daughter, Lizette, now 25 yrs old, is the second kid from the right (his name is Andrew). My baby, Gabriel is sitting, watching, all the way on the left 🙂

Gratitude: The Book

My life is far from perfect. I often go through periods of depression or anxiety; I focus on what is not working for me, or what I am lacking; I self-indulge; I live life as if others (including God) exist to fulfill my purposes and dreams. Thankfully, I do not live like this all the time (I praise God that HE constantly and continually rescues me from my self-centered choices), and by God’s grace I can also see the good and lovely in my life, regardless of my circumstances. For this I give glory to Christ, for without him, I would live only for myself and in the end, drown in misery.

I Thessalonians 5:18 says, “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” With this in mind, I purpose to be more thankful, and I ask God to open my eyes to see His grace, goodness, mercy, and love in ALL circumstances.

So today I am grateful the Bible, which speaks to me, to the core of me. Many have been persecuted, killed, and ostracized in order to preserve this book. I reap the benefits of reading it, hearing it, confessing it, and being transformed by it. In it, I find God’s words to me. Without it, I would lack purpose and direction.