There are average weeks filled with average days that go by without any kind of out-of-the-ordinary occurrences. Last week was one of those. You know, the regular stuff that happens in families: good-morning kisses, driving to work, giving rides to the kids, cooking, cleaning, catching up in conversation with husband over dinner, and so on and so forth. Last week was typical.
And then something extraordinary happened as I was sitting in church on Sunday. No, it was not the worship (though it was good) nor the sermon (though it was insightful and applicable). This amazing, little moment came from God through the woman who was sitting in the row in front of me.
The time for communion was approaching. I remember the pastor encouraged us to make peace with anyone we had offended, before we partook of the elements. The reason I remember this is because I approached my youngest daughter and I asked her to forgive me for being a butt earlier in the car. Yes, those were the exact words I used. She smiled and forgave me and proceeded to go up to the front to take communion. I sat with Gabriel and waited for her to return with the elements for me to take. Anyway, while the congregation was moving around during this very holy occasion, this middle-aged woman started a conversation with her husband — a very quiet, intimate conversation –. I could tell it was something weighty. I could see it in her eyes. It was something that only concerned the two of them. I sat there and watched. The perfect picture of intimacy drew me in. They were both standing, very close to each other, and she had her eyes glued on him as he was talking. People were walking by, songs were being sung, but her eyes never wavered. I could not see his facial expressions, but I could see hers. She had a gentle smile, an inviting smile, a sweet, sweet smile that said you can tell me anything, because I love you. She listened, responded in short sentences (no, I couldn’t tell what they were saying, nor did I care to know), and listened again. But it was the look in her eyes and the love in her countenance that mesmerized me.
This couple has been married for probably close to 40 years. Their children are all grown and married. They know all about each other, the good, the bad, and the ugly. They see each other every day. There are many couples who live through that same length of time and find themselves bored, disillusioned, lonely, or frustrated. Just because you live with someone for that long does not guarantee that you will share the level of intimacy that I witnessed this past Sunday. It was beautiful and oh, so encouraging!
Sunday came and went, and this dear woman did not know how much she blessed me. The love she and her husband exchanged with one another and the intimate connection they shared without even touching each other, ministered to my heart. In a week (or a month) when I have not had out-of-the-mundane exchanges with my own husband (busy lives tend to have that effect on relationships), I am reminded that love and intimacy are true and real, even with the passing of time. In fact, love and intimacy are able to grow and deepen with the passing of time.
I have a good marriage of 28 years. I love my husband and my husband loves me. Being part of this amazing, little moment on Sunday lit up a fire in me. It reminded me to treasure the little moments, to continue to seek to know my husband and be open enough for him to know me. I want for my face to look like that when I listen to him. I desire for our intimacy and friendship to continue to grow with age and time. I will not settle for just getting along. Instead I strive to deepen our relationship until death do us part. I know he loves me enough to want the same thing.
So thank you, Kim, for blessing and encouraging my heart. May God give you many more loving and intimate years with your husband, and may you continue to be a gentle but powerful example to so many others.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”- 1 Peter 4:8