Today has been a difficult day. Gabriel has been struggling for a while and we haven’t known why. So many of you (dear readers) have prayed for him and for our family [In Need of Prayer]. His mood and behavior had deteriorated and we have tried anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, we have done full blood work, and had no idea what was going on. (Sorry, a lot of grammatical mistakes in this paragraph, that I don’t have the clarity to fix)
One of the behaviors he developed was walking around with his eyes closed. We attributed this to sensory issues, typical of his autism. However, around 3 weeks ago, we discovered that his left eye was bright red and severely inflamed. We took him to the emergency room where they diagnosed him with conjunctivitis. We treated him for that but the eye did not improve. For a couple of weeks we’ve been praying for him, worried sick because his eye was not getting better. Last week he saw the specialist who guessed he could have iritis (an irritation of the iris) and treated him with steroids and antibiotics. Yesterday, for the first time, we saw improvement. And we breathed. Today, in his follow-up visit, the doctor confirmed his eye seems to be on its way to healing. Gabriel needs to continue steroid treatment for 3 weeks. The recovery process can be anywhere from 4 to 6 weeks.
And I’m in tears: Tears from guilt, for all those times when I forced him to open his eyes and turned on the light thinking he was exhibiting difficult behavior when he was probably in PAIN; Tears from worry, knowing that iritis can be a symptom of something much deeper and bigger (or not); Tears from relief, knowing that at least we have some sort of an explanation for his behavior, and that his eye is getting better (the fear of blindness has been gripping me); Tears from frustration in my awareness that he doesn’t communicate when things hurt or bother him. How are we supposed to know what he goes through and seek help when we have no clue he is in pain? I’m kind of sort of beside myself right now.
My dear friends, if you feel burdened to pray, please ask the Lord 1. To heal his eye completely, 2. To help him find his way back to peace and contentment, 3. For us to find the appropriate place for him, such as a day program where he can develop work and independent work skills, and 4. For God to supernaturally help him communicate and express his needs effectively (this is a big one)
So here’s what I’m thinking: Things look hopeless, yet I KNOW I have hope. This hope is not in circumstances, diagnoses, wishful thinking, or unrealistic expectations. Real hope happens in spite of and in the midst of pain and difficulties. So here is where I hang my hope today:
The Lord is loving toward all he has made
The Lord upholds all those who fall
And lifts up all who are bowed down
The Lord is is righteous in all his ways
The Lord is near to all who call on him
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him
He hears their cry and saves them
The Lord watches over all who love him
(From Psalm 145)
Gabriel posing with his new sunglasses to shield him from painful light
Like a Deer Panting for Water... 
Sweet Silvia, we are praying for you and Gabriel. I saw you post “Out of the Depths” this morning and prayed then…that song is so close to my heart right now, too. May God reveal more of Himself to you: more of His power by healing Gabriel’s body and restoring his peace, more of his wisdom by lighting a path towards placement in a day program, and more of His love as he binds your family closer together. We will cry out for CLARITY for you. Love you.
I’m assuming this is Heather? lol.
Thank you for your prayers and your love. I’m praying for baby Rachel as well ❤
Praise God that you found a doctor who found out what was wrong with Gabriel’s eye and gave him the right medication. Don’t be hard on yourself, you are in a difficult predicament because Gabriel cannot express what is wrong. How could you possibly know that he had an eye infection instead of emotional problems? He’ll get better from the eye, and knowing you guys, you’ll find a day care for him and he will get much better. Stay in Hope always. God will see you through this hard moment. Meditate on the lesson to learn from this event and go on with a positive hear, as you always do. We will pray for Gabriel and for the rest of you.
This really touched my heart. We will be praying. Don’t let the guilt get you. We are do the best we can. We all fall and fail, if we didn’t we would be way less likely to reach out to God.
Thank you so much. I feel really encouraged by everyone’s prayers, even when they (like you) don’t know me or Gabriel. God bless you!
As I prayed for him, this is what came to me: 1. To heal his eye completely, [Lord, you open the eyes of the blind.] 2. To help him find his way back to peace and contentment,[agreeing with you] 3. For us to find the appropriate place for him, such as a day program where he can develop work and independent work skills, [agreeing with you] and 4. For God to supernaturally help him communicate and express his needs effectively (this is a big one) [I thought of deaf and dumb spirit. Doesn’t mean autism is a spiritual problem, but sometimes this happens.]
I also felt like the Lord wants you to know that he is pleased with you and you have done the very best you can for your son! Blessings!
Thank you so much for your prayers and your encouragement! God bless you 🙂
Silvia, my heart went out to you when I read your post just now. I have always loved your spirit. Your love for God, and of course your children, has always been so evident to me, and I’m sure, others that know you. Please don’t allow the enemy to laden you down with guilt. That is his greatest weapon against us, but God is the reader of the heart, and He knows of all the love that you, and your whole family, have poured into Gabriel. Have you made mistakes? Yes! We all do that. Just know that Jesus knows all that you go through, and He is only a breath away. Keep Him close, as I know you do, and in that breath, when you call, He will answer….I love you girl.❤
I love you, Barbara. Thank you so much. I take what you say to heart. I am encouraged in the Lord 🙂
Hi Silvia, praying for Gabriel, that he will recover soon and that God would him how to communicate. My heart goes out to you and your family. This must be so hard, but it is clear t hat The Lord is close to you and taking care of his children, as only he can do. A big hug from afar. Love – Alexa
Thank you Alexa. I so appreciate your love and encouragement 🙂
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